Spiritual Amnesia

The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying:  “I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”  Jeremiah 31:3

 

 

I’m a sucker for a love story, especially one with a happy ending.  One of my favorite movies is 50 First Dates. Henry falls in love with Lucy, a girl who suffered an accident which caused permanent damage to the part of her brain controlling her short term memory.  Every morning Lucy, who only remembers life before the accident, must be informed of her situation and all that has happened since that fateful day.  Moving forward in life is almost impossible for her because no new memory is retained.  The determined Henry woos Lucy, winning her heart day after day.  Eventually, Lucy decides that Henry should not have to bear the burden of her disability and pushes him away.  However, even though there is no hope of Lucy recovering her short term memory, Henry discovers he has touched something deeper in Lucy than her memory; love has imprinted his image on her heart.  In the end, love triumphs and they live happily ever after.

I’ve come to believe that every good love story is based on our intuitive desire for grace; for unconditional love that overcomes every obstacle in its relentless pursuit of the undeserving beloved.  50 First Dates follows that pattern, but it is the obstacle itself which intrigued me as I thought about it this week.

I’ve been writing lately about the two ways of viewing all of life: Action/Consequence and Death/Resurrection.  Action/Consequence is our natural, default way of thinking.  Its focus is on me and what I do.  If I do this I will get that.  If I don’t do this, I won’t get that.  This gives us the illusion of control.  We view others as competitors, opponents.  We compare and compete. We measure and judge. We condemn others, and ourselves.  We seek to avoid failure and achieve personal glory, and we make it the basis of our identity. This is the foundation of all human thinking.  When Christianity is viewed through the Action/Consequence lens, Jesus is mentioned only in passing; the idea of his dying for our sins is used only as a springboard for the real emphasis, which is about us and what we are to do.

Death/Resurrection, on the other hand, is completely unnatural and counterintuitive. Its way of viewing life is upside down and backward from the way we instinctively think.  This viewpoint is not something we can manufacture on our own.  It is a gift from outside of us, through the ministry of the Holy Spirit.  In this paradigm, the focus is not on what we do or don’t do, it is always and only on what has been done for us by God, through his son, Jesus Christ.  It is based on the biblical understanding that we are dead in our transgressions and sins (Ephesians 2:1) and incapable of doing anything for ourselves.  Our only hope is resurrection, which must come from outside of us. Ephesians 2:4-5 tells us that is exactly what God did, “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” In this world view we are all dead men brought back to life. There is no one better than another; no basis for comparing and competing, judging or condemning.  The only glory goes to the One who has done everything for us.

When God comes to us and opens our minds to Death/Resurrection, we receive the news with great joy and relief.  Possibilities open before us.  Wonder fills our hearts at the amazing news that we are God’s beloved, not because we earned it or deserved it, or that we must earn it or deserve it in the future, but simply because he saw us just as we are, and he desired us to be his own.  His unreasonable love pursues us and overcomes all obstacles!

Then, we go to sleep, and in the morning we have reset to Action/Consequence. 

I have berated myself so many times for how quickly I forget God’s grace.  I have been appalled at my ability to be so grateful and trusting one minute, and in the next so ungrateful, anxious and ashamed.  I am exhilarated by the good news I find in scripture one day and the following day I can only see my failure and God’s disapproval, and question whether any of the good news was true.  I have trouble imagining how God could possibly keep putting up with my stupidity and obvious lack of appropriate response to his love.  Why can’t I retain the gospel?  How is it that the concept of grace seems so illusive; first clear then obscure?

This week, God patiently made me aware that Action/Consequence is all that we have on our own.  We will inevitably reset to our default.  Death/Resurrection is not an understanding at which we can arrive through our own efforts; it is always a gift, doled out daily like the manna was to the Israelites.  It is by revelation only.  It is new every morning.

We may forget, but God’s love has imprinted his image on our hearts.  Rather than being angry with us, he dazzles us anew with the miracle of grace.  He brings us from despair to hope again.  He woos us and wins our hearts day after day. It’s Christmas every day, with the excitement of receiving the best present ever.  The relief and reassurance never gets old; the child-like delight never goes away.

Every morning, God tells us our story again.  He opens us to the possibilities and revives our joy and sense of wonder.  He is well aware of our reset disability, and he assures us that his love for us will always triumph and we will move forward together until we live happily ever after.  That’s the best love story of all!