Come On, God, What Are You Thinking?

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21




I have control issues. I admit it. I have very definite ideas about how things should be and the best way to make them happen. I remember being in a terrible traffic jam on the Washington Beltway one day. I became increasingly incensed at the inconsiderate drivers who thought it was a great idea to pass all the stopped vehicles by driving on the shoulder. Of course they eventually had to merge back in, so in essence, they were just rudely cutting in line.

I finally decided that I would put a stop to it. I self-righteously moved my car to the right so that I was half in the right lane and half on the shoulder,  blocking people from passing me. Then, a car decided to defy my blockade and passed me on the right, coming so close to my car that his door handle was a fraction of an inch from scraping my car. I became so enraged that I slammed my hand  on my horn so hard I jammed my thumb and had a painful reminder for weeks of my determination to single-handedly control the entire Washington Beltway.

That incident is just an example of my desire to maintain the illusion that I am in control and that my way is the best way. In my saner moments, when the Holy Spirit has opened my mind to the Death/Resurrection* viewpoint, I know that, not only am I not in control,  but I do not want to be! However, because Action/Consequence* is my default model and I slip into it without even being aware, I easily lose that concept and have to be brought back to it.

I had to be brought back to it again this week. I was quite certain that I knew what needed to be done and I had tried very hard to cover all my bases with elaborate plans to ensure that my will would prevail; but, in what I initially considered to be a very unfortunate set of circumstances, all of my elaborate plans were thwarted. I was fit to be tied, as my mother used to say.

I fussed and fumed, and then I called a friend. "I need someone to tell me that God is in control and he knows what he is doing," I said angrily. She asked me what happened and I explained. She listened and responded sympathetically,  then she dutifully complied with my original request.

"God is in control,  and he knows what he's doing, " she said softly. As she spoke I felt some of the tension lift. We talked then about the truth of that statement and how God sees and knows everything about the situation where I could only grasp a small part. I began to recognize that, despite my good intentions, I couldn't possibly know for certain what was best. Only God could know that, and he was trustworthy.

I sighed, first grudgingly,  then gratefully as I once again relinquished the control I never really had and placed it back into the hands that held it all along.



*For a more detailed understanding of Action/Consequence versus Death/Resurrection, please read my previous blog, Which Lens.