God Provides

“See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared.”  --Exodus 23:20

                I had never been particularly interested in angels. As a matter of fact, I was annoyed with people who seemed to have an obsession with them. You know who I mean, the ones who wear all kinds of angel jewelry and have angel figurines and all kinds of angel paraphernalia in every nook and cranny of their homes and cars. It seemed to me that some were getting dangerously close to forgetting about the biblical relationship between angels and God and were verging on angel worship.  But suddenly I found myself with an almost insatiable need to read anything I considered to be a genuine angel story.

            My husband was only weeks away from losing the battle with cancer.  The Veterans hospital, where we both spent most of our time, had free Guidepost magazines in the chapel. Throughout my husband’s illness I had read every inspirational issue I could get my hands on. The stories gave me hope and encouragement. They reassured me that, despite our bleak circumstances, I could count on the fact that there was a God who cared about and was active in what was happening in people’s lives. I wasn’t expecting a last minute cure, but I needed to hear how he had made himself known in amazing and miraculous ways to people in all kinds of situations.

            Many of the stories I found most encouraging were about angel appearances.  Stories where, just when things seemed hopeless, someone would appear and have exactly what was needed. Then, when the rescued person turned around to say thank you, no one was there. Guideposts had just started a sister magazine, Angels on Earth, so I subscribed.  Billy Graham wrote a book called, Angels: God’s secret agents. I bought it. I went to the library and found other books of stories about angels, written from a Christian perspective, and checked them all out. I was intentionally fortifying myself with concrete evidence of God’s personal concern regarding the needs, large and small, of his children.        

            As I read, I began to notice what I felt were common themes in these stories. As I write about it now, it occurs to me that maybe what stood out to me weren’t necessarily “common themes”, but were simply what God wanted me to notice, so they stuck in my mind. Regardless, it seemed to me that frequently these angels were beautiful and were often dressed all in white. Many times they did not speak, but when they looked at someone it was as if they were able to look inside of you.

            Several days before my husband’s death, I walked into his room and he told me about a new woman doctor that had been making rounds with his regular doctors for the last few days. He said he thought she must be an important visiting physician and he had tried to find out who she was, but no one seemed to know who he was talking about. I asked him to tell me what she looked like because I thought maybe I could do a little detective work for him and find out. I was curious as to the reason he was so interested in finding her.  Then he described her to me. She was very beautiful, he said, with dark shoulder length hair. She was dressed all in white, but she wasn’t wearing a white coat like the other doctors, she had a beautiful white suit. She stood at the end of the semi-circle of the entourage and never said a word, but he said he could tell she was very intelligent, by her face. She listened raptly to what the doctors were saying, but when she turned to look at my husband, he said, it was as if she was looking into his very soul. She had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

            As the hairs stood up on my arms, I knew with absolute certainty that he was describing an angel.  I did ask the nurses if they knew of anyone matching this description that had been on rounds in the past few days, but of course they did not. My husband had not been reading angel stories. We hadn’t even discussed my sudden interest in angels. He hadn’t recently become aware of the fact that angels frequently matched the description he had just given me, and for some reason I didn’t feel a need to tell him. I just stored up that treasure in my heart.

            The night my husband died, as I was standing beside him, still holding his hand, I had a sudden picture in my mind of this same angel coming to him at the moment of death. I imagined the surprise of recognition and then understanding he must have felt as he realized why she had been there before and was there now. I imagined him walking away with her, unafraid. Even in that heart-wrenching moment, I smiled with wonder at that picture and was grateful to a God who had prepared me and provided exactly what was needed for us both.

           

Work of Art

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. –Ephesians 2:8-10

                I have a problem and I know I am not alone. Many of us, who have grabbed onto the good news of God’s grace, like a drowning man does a life preserver, are secretly afraid that it really is too good to be true and will be ripped away from us, leaving us with no hope. I know I am not the only one who feels this way because others have shared similar fears with me. For years I shuddered when I heard words like “should”, “must”, “need to”, “ought to”, “duty”, “obligation”, “responsibility”, etc., in relation to what God expects of me.  I mentally put my fingers in my ears and yelled, “Lalalalalala, I can’t hear you!” at the top of my lungs, even though I knew those words and concepts were found in the Bible.

                The pull of what I was taught for so many years – that I was saved by my good works, my obedience; and lost because of my bad deeds or lack of obedience – was so strong that I could barely resist it.  It was like a veil being pulled over my mind, causing me to become confused; making me unable to remember what the good news was and why I believed it to be true. At times I felt ashamed of my inability to hold onto my hope; guilty at finding it illusive. I confess there are portions of scripture I have actually shied away from because I am not certain I can read them without succumbing to hopelessness once more.

                On the other hand, I am sure this secret fear is one of the reasons I still experience such tremendous joy with every new scriptural insight that confirms my faith. Each revelation is greeted with the same excitement a child feels on Christmas morning, because every time it is like opening the greatest of all gifts. You might think I am exaggerating, but I assure you, I am not. Every “Aha!” moment, when I catch a new glimpse of grace in a scripture, especially one that has made me nervous, brings tears to my eyes and a wave of gratitude swells up in my heart.

                There is nothing else on this earth that is more relieving to me than the knowledge that I do not have to be good enough to please God; more than that – that it is impossible for me to please God - which is why Jesus had to come and please God for me, with his obedience and his good works, which he credits to my account. Then, taking all of my failures and sinful acts as his own, he paid the price which God required so that I would not have to. Such good news!

                But, here’s the problem: Deep inside I have known that I need to stop fearing the fact that God wants me to be a better person. I need to stop being afraid that this truth will steal my joy, putting grace in the background and placing the focus back on me instead of Christ. Scripture is clear that God’s purpose for all who are saved is to conform us to the image of his Son (Romans 8:29).  Ephesians 2:8-10 makes it clear that we are not saved by our own good works, so no one has room to brag about what they’ve done; but we are saved to do good works, which God planned in advance for us to do. I know that God desires for me to feel the same joy for what he wants to do with me that I feel about what he did for me. But I struggle.

                There are instances where I can grasp the concept and accept it. For example, we would all probably agree that if we had loved ones enslaved by addictions, we would rejoice with all of hearts over their acceptance of what Jesus did for them, but we would also strongly desire to see their lives transformed; to see them set free from their chains; not so they could be good enough to please God, but simply because we know their lives would be so much better. We would long for their lives to be better.

                It is easier to recognize the need for and the benefit of change in others, but when we are talking about my changing, that is when I quake. Not because I like myself the way I am and don’t think I need to change, quite the opposite!  I know me. I know my weaknesses. I know my selfishness, my unkind thoughts, my impatience, my pride. I know how far I am from being conformed to the image of Jesus even after all these years.  I’m not sure how much evidence there is that God’s purpose for me is being fulfilled.  I feel God’s unmet expectations hanging over me and the panic begins to rise!

                I recently discovered an overlooked verse in the book of Romans that has begun to help me in this area. Those of you, who know me, know that Romans and I have a long-standing relationship. It is the Book that confirmed my belief in the good news of God’s grace. I have taught many classes on it and feel that I know the content, but God’s word is always new and full of surprises!

                Romans 8:1 (This is not the overlooked verse!) begins with the word “Therefore”. I had a teacher who used to say that whenever the Apostle Paul uses the word “Therefore” you need to pay attention to what it is there for.  Paul uses that word a lot, and it is a flag that says, “What I am going to say now is because of, or the logical conclusion of, what I just finished saying. 

                The Book of Romans is actually a letter written by Paul, where he carefully and logically lays out the gospel, step by step.  He did not write it with chapters and introductory headings.  In the portion of the letter immediately preceding Romans 8, Paul had been detailing the futile struggle of all who want so much to do what is right – to please God – but fail, time and time again. Many of us are familiar with the final verses of that section, Romans 7:24-25(first part), “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  Such a heartfelt, desperate plea, followed by the glorious answer!

                Most of us think the section ends there. If we’re reading along we generally mumble our way through what is actually the rest of verse 25, in order to get to Romans 8:1, but this overlooked fragment of a verse is what the “Therefore” is there for!  Let me quote the verses the way they were written, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!  So, then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus….” 

                Did you catch it? Because of the fact that my mind and body are not in sync; because my mind wants to please God but my body just won’t cooperate, Therefore the condemnation has been removed.  Let me say it another way.  Jesus came to set me free from the fear of trying to be good and failing by removing the condemnation factor. And why did he do that?  Because he understands those of us who will quake at the slightest hint of God’s disapproval and will be afraid to even hope for change.  We are free to take two steps forward and three steps back.  God will not be mad at us.  Our inevitable failures do not surprise him and in fact were the reason he rescued us! He already knows we will fall frequently. But he will continue to love us and work in us both to want to and to do his will, with no condemnation.

                Deep inside, we all know God doesn’t want us to remain unchanged, never being “transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2). We do realize our lives will be better, our relationships will benefit and our peace of mind will be greater the more like Christ we become. I believe the realization that God has no unmet expectations for us because Christ has met them all, and that we can simply surrender ourselves to the process resting securely in his love without fear of condemnation, will set us free to become God’s handiwork, his work of art.

Naughty or Nice

"...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."--Romans 6:23

          While humming along with Santa Claus Is Coming to Town the other day, I thought about the words and how they reflect many people's view of God - The people on God's Nice List are blessed and will go to heaven, while the ones on the Naughty List are going to hell.  I lived with that internalilzed belief for many years.  I wanted so badly to be good, for goodness sake, but deep inside I expected a lump of coal.
         
          Thankfully, I was finally shown that everyone who has ever lived, with one significant exception, is on the Naughty List and there is no amount of effort any one of us can put forth that is enough to get us off. The standards for the Nice List are just too high. The good news is, Jesus came and lived up to those standards for us and as a result, all the blessings of heaven and earth, reserved for those on that list, belong to anyone who accepts Jesus' gift.

          For me, the news of that gift has never gotten old; they joy and relief it brings me has never dimmed.  The excitement I feel when I think about it has never gone away.  I can't say that about any of the earthly gifts I have received, no matter how expensive or beautiful they were. Most of them are gone and forgotten. The gift of salvation remains ever new.

          The only time that joy has ever been threatened over the years has been when I have heard or read something that made me feel condemned and guilty again.  At those times I would slide, almost without thinking, into a posture of shame and defeat, and large doses of grace-filled scripture reading would be required to bring me back to a state of gratitude once more.

          I've often thought that the biggest battle Christians fight is the battle to continue to believe in God's grace.  One of the reasons for this is that the philosophies of this world which we live with on a daily basis are completely anti-grace!

          Worldly wisdom says, you have to earn what you get.  God says, "Now to the one who works, wages are not credited as a gift but as an obligation. However, to the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness." (Romans 4:4-5)

          The world says, you get what you pay for. God says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--" (Ephesians 2:8)

           The wisdom of the world says, "God helps those who help themselves." (Benjamin Franklin in Poor Richard's Almanac)  God says, "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly." (Romans 5:6)

          The world says, give me what I deserve.  God says, "For the wages of sin is death..." (Romans 6:23) If we got what we truly deserve, we are only deserving of death. The verse goes on to say, "...but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

          This Christmas season, my prayer for you is that no one can steal your joy as you remember that "Every good and perfect gift comes from above" (James 1:17); not from Santa who knows if you've been bad or good, but from the God who "...so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)