The Buffet

My husband and I decided to go out for Sunday Brunch Buffet. Visions of Belgian waffles and fluffy scrambled eggs danced in my head.  We arrived at the restaurant at precisely 11:00 a.m.  and were greeted at the Host station by a lady who looked at us and uttered one angry word, “Dinner!” as she pointed over and behind her head at the sign which listed the prices for the Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner Buffets.  As we stood there with confused looks on our faces, she once more spoke the word, this time separating it into two distinct syllables for emphasis, “Din-ner”, waving her finger over her head. “Do you understand?” I looked at my watch in bewilderment, wondering where lunch had gone since apparently brunch was no longer in existence, but she stared us down until we meekly acknowledged that we understood, then we were charged approximately $15.00 each, because we chose the more expensive option which included the beverage bar, and were released to the buffet.

I assumed there would still be remnants of breakfast somewhere, along with the “Dinner”, and as we walked up, sure enough I saw scrambled eggs on the next serving table.  I pointed them out to my husband as I scooped up the hash browns I had spied right in front of me, and then turned just in time to see a man whisking the pan of eggs up, out and away from the serving line. All that remained of breakfast were a few soggy pieces of bacon floating in several inches of hot grease.

I resigned myself to eating “Din-ner”, grabbing some dry chicken, macaroni and cheese and some mystery greens.  I set my plate on our table and went to get something to drink.  I decided to console myself with some white chocolate cappuccino, but couldn’t find any cups, only glasses.  I finally found someone who had a name tag, and asked about cups.  She insisted that they were on the other side of the beverage bar, but we looked together and there were none.  She set off to find some cups.  I waited.  When someone finally came out with a cart, I took a cup and proceeded to get my cappuccino.  As I carried it back to our table I noticed it was dripping. At first I thought I must have spilled some on the side, but as a puddle began to form in the hand I was holding under the cup, I came to the conclusion that it was actually leaking.  I gingerly carried the cup to an area where an employee had a large collection of dirty dishes. I told her my cup was leaking. She motioned for me to drop it in with the rest of the mess.  I did, and went off to find another cup.

I arrived back at our table with my non-leaky cup, only to discover to my chagrin that I had neglected to get silverware.  I trudged back to the buffet where I encountered empty silverware containers everywhere I looked.  Only a few stray soup spoons were available.  Finally, near the desserts I was able to secure a fork and spoon, but no knife to cut the dry chicken. This time, when I returned to the table I threw the utensils down, with my cappuccino-sticky hand, plunked myself down in the booth and began loudly proclaiming to pretty much the entire restaurant just how ridiculous this was.  I don’t even know all that I said; something about “Like eating at K-Mart” and some other choice words.  My husband looked astounded and asked if I wanted to go.  I indignantly insisted that we had paid a “fortune” and I was determined to eat even if I choked on my now cold “Din-ner”!

The employee who had looked for cups with me earlier overheard my rant and got the manager, who came to find out why I was upset, and I let him have it.  In an attempt to appease me he insisted on giving me his business card with the words “two free meals” written on it, even though I let him know in no uncertain terms that I would not be coming back.  After he left the table I ripped it up and left it there as the ultimate insult, and felt good about it.

It wasn’t until we were on our way home that my husband and I began to laugh hysterically at the experience, making references to the Seinfeld episode about the Soup Nazi, likening that infamous television character to the lady at the host station. “No Breakfast for You!”  (If you haven’t seen it, you won’t get it, but that’s okay.)  It occurred to me that I was glad I hadn’t been wearing a Christian T-shirt or cross necklace when I pitched my public fit. I also thought, as I have many times before, that I’m glad I preach that we are all, at the same time, sinners and declared by God to be righteous, because I definitely practice what I preach. Am I proud that I ‘lost it’ in the restaurant? No.  Am I sorry? Probably not as sorry as I should be.

My point in sharing this story is to illustrate that, even though Grace is the joy and light of my life, when things don’t go my way, I can default in a heartbeat to Action/Consequence, and can be astonishingly ungracious.  The Death/Resurrection state of mind—which acknowledges that there is nothing in any of us which deserves God’s favor and that we are all totally dependent on his grace and mercy for salvation—Is like a retreat I go to for R and R; but, functionally, I keep coming ‘home’ to Action/Consequence—stubbornly treating people as if they should be worthy, and when they are not, as if I have a right to shame or shun them because of it. I’m not happy to admit this is the case.  I long to reach a place where I can truthfully say that I spend more time living out of Death/Resurrection than  Action/Consequence; but it’s a slow go.  And, if I get there, I’ll probably be pretty self-righteous about it.

I’m brave enough to admit this to you because I know it’s true about you, too.  Every single one of us is a mess!  The major difference between Christians and non-Christians, if we have our Gospel straight, is that Christians know they only deserve damnation; but they also know they have a Savior who already paid the price.

Noooo, I’m not saying that, because we have a Savior, we are all free to run around sinning whenever and wherever we want, so that God’s grace may abound (Romans 6:1); I’m saying that we do and we will sin, even though we wish it wasn’t so; and God’s grace will always abound.