I was lying in bed filled with fear and dread, unable to sleep. My husband’s valiantly fought battle with cancer was nearing the end. I had left him at the hospital earlier in the evening to come home to our three teenage children. I knew I had to go to work in the morning, but when sleep wouldn’t come I finally turned the light on and grabbed my Bible, hoping to find comfort that would allow me to get some rest. But my mind kept straying from the verses I was trying to read as I faced the uncertain future.
Our only sources of income were my husband’s Social Security disability check and the small income I had from managing a kiosk at a mall. We had long since exhausted any savings. There was no life insurance. I had no idea how I would provide for our family financially. Would we lose our home? And, more importantly, would I be able to provide emotional support for my husband in this process of letting go of this life? Would I be able to be strong for my children, or would I fall apart completely and be unable to function?
I finally closed my Bible and prayed. I cried and poured out my fears to God. I laid out my bleak future before him and told him I didn’t think I could do what would need to be done. I expected to feel better after I prayed, but all I felt was drained. I turned over then, to put my Bible back on the nightstand and turn out the light, and saw something lying on the floor next to my bed. It was a small Pass It On card. For those of you who don’t know what those are, they are business sized cards which usually have pictures on them and some encouraging saying, or a scripture. I had some that had been given to me that I kept in my Bible, but this was one I had never seen before. I leaned down and picked it up. On it was a beautiful picture of a rainbow and the words, “Do Not Be Afraid of Tomorrow. God is Already There.”
And He was. And He is. I still have that card stuck to my mirror so I won’t forget.
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