God Provides

“See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared.”  --Exodus 23:20

                I had never been particularly interested in angels. As a matter of fact, I was annoyed with people who seemed to have an obsession with them. You know who I mean, the ones who wear all kinds of angel jewelry and have angel figurines and all kinds of angel paraphernalia in every nook and cranny of their homes and cars. It seemed to me that some were getting dangerously close to forgetting about the biblical relationship between angels and God and were verging on angel worship.  But suddenly I found myself with an almost insatiable need to read anything I considered to be a genuine angel story.

            My husband was only weeks away from losing the battle with cancer.  The Veterans hospital, where we both spent most of our time, had free Guidepost magazines in the chapel. Throughout my husband’s illness I had read every inspirational issue I could get my hands on. The stories gave me hope and encouragement. They reassured me that, despite our bleak circumstances, I could count on the fact that there was a God who cared about and was active in what was happening in people’s lives. I wasn’t expecting a last minute cure, but I needed to hear how he had made himself known in amazing and miraculous ways to people in all kinds of situations.

            Many of the stories I found most encouraging were about angel appearances.  Stories where, just when things seemed hopeless, someone would appear and have exactly what was needed. Then, when the rescued person turned around to say thank you, no one was there. Guideposts had just started a sister magazine, Angels on Earth, so I subscribed.  Billy Graham wrote a book called, Angels: God’s secret agents. I bought it. I went to the library and found other books of stories about angels, written from a Christian perspective, and checked them all out. I was intentionally fortifying myself with concrete evidence of God’s personal concern regarding the needs, large and small, of his children.        

            As I read, I began to notice what I felt were common themes in these stories. As I write about it now, it occurs to me that maybe what stood out to me weren’t necessarily “common themes”, but were simply what God wanted me to notice, so they stuck in my mind. Regardless, it seemed to me that frequently these angels were beautiful and were often dressed all in white. Many times they did not speak, but when they looked at someone it was as if they were able to look inside of you.

            Several days before my husband’s death, I walked into his room and he told me about a new woman doctor that had been making rounds with his regular doctors for the last few days. He said he thought she must be an important visiting physician and he had tried to find out who she was, but no one seemed to know who he was talking about. I asked him to tell me what she looked like because I thought maybe I could do a little detective work for him and find out. I was curious as to the reason he was so interested in finding her.  Then he described her to me. She was very beautiful, he said, with dark shoulder length hair. She was dressed all in white, but she wasn’t wearing a white coat like the other doctors, she had a beautiful white suit. She stood at the end of the semi-circle of the entourage and never said a word, but he said he could tell she was very intelligent, by her face. She listened raptly to what the doctors were saying, but when she turned to look at my husband, he said, it was as if she was looking into his very soul. She had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

            As the hairs stood up on my arms, I knew with absolute certainty that he was describing an angel.  I did ask the nurses if they knew of anyone matching this description that had been on rounds in the past few days, but of course they did not. My husband had not been reading angel stories. We hadn’t even discussed my sudden interest in angels. He hadn’t recently become aware of the fact that angels frequently matched the description he had just given me, and for some reason I didn’t feel a need to tell him. I just stored up that treasure in my heart.

            The night my husband died, as I was standing beside him, still holding his hand, I had a sudden picture in my mind of this same angel coming to him at the moment of death. I imagined the surprise of recognition and then understanding he must have felt as he realized why she had been there before and was there now. I imagined him walking away with her, unafraid. Even in that heart-wrenching moment, I smiled with wonder at that picture and was grateful to a God who had prepared me and provided exactly what was needed for us both.

           

Work of Art

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. –Ephesians 2:8-10

                I have a problem and I know I am not alone. Many of us, who have grabbed onto the good news of God’s grace, like a drowning man does a life preserver, are secretly afraid that it really is too good to be true and will be ripped away from us, leaving us with no hope. I know I am not the only one who feels this way because others have shared similar fears with me. For years I shuddered when I heard words like “should”, “must”, “need to”, “ought to”, “duty”, “obligation”, “responsibility”, etc., in relation to what God expects of me.  I mentally put my fingers in my ears and yelled, “Lalalalalala, I can’t hear you!” at the top of my lungs, even though I knew those words and concepts were found in the Bible.

                The pull of what I was taught for so many years – that I was saved by my good works, my obedience; and lost because of my bad deeds or lack of obedience – was so strong that I could barely resist it.  It was like a veil being pulled over my mind, causing me to become confused; making me unable to remember what the good news was and why I believed it to be true. At times I felt ashamed of my inability to hold onto my hope; guilty at finding it illusive. I confess there are portions of scripture I have actually shied away from because I am not certain I can read them without succumbing to hopelessness once more.

                On the other hand, I am sure this secret fear is one of the reasons I still experience such tremendous joy with every new scriptural insight that confirms my faith. Each revelation is greeted with the same excitement a child feels on Christmas morning, because every time it is like opening the greatest of all gifts. You might think I am exaggerating, but I assure you, I am not. Every “Aha!” moment, when I catch a new glimpse of grace in a scripture, especially one that has made me nervous, brings tears to my eyes and a wave of gratitude swells up in my heart.

                There is nothing else on this earth that is more relieving to me than the knowledge that I do not have to be good enough to please God; more than that – that it is impossible for me to please God - which is why Jesus had to come and please God for me, with his obedience and his good works, which he credits to my account. Then, taking all of my failures and sinful acts as his own, he paid the price which God required so that I would not have to. Such good news!

                But, here’s the problem: Deep inside I have known that I need to stop fearing the fact that God wants me to be a better person. I need to stop being afraid that this truth will steal my joy, putting grace in the background and placing the focus back on me instead of Christ. Scripture is clear that God’s purpose for all who are saved is to conform us to the image of his Son (Romans 8:29).  Ephesians 2:8-10 makes it clear that we are not saved by our own good works, so no one has room to brag about what they’ve done; but we are saved to do good works, which God planned in advance for us to do. I know that God desires for me to feel the same joy for what he wants to do with me that I feel about what he did for me. But I struggle.

                There are instances where I can grasp the concept and accept it. For example, we would all probably agree that if we had loved ones enslaved by addictions, we would rejoice with all of hearts over their acceptance of what Jesus did for them, but we would also strongly desire to see their lives transformed; to see them set free from their chains; not so they could be good enough to please God, but simply because we know their lives would be so much better. We would long for their lives to be better.

                It is easier to recognize the need for and the benefit of change in others, but when we are talking about my changing, that is when I quake. Not because I like myself the way I am and don’t think I need to change, quite the opposite!  I know me. I know my weaknesses. I know my selfishness, my unkind thoughts, my impatience, my pride. I know how far I am from being conformed to the image of Jesus even after all these years.  I’m not sure how much evidence there is that God’s purpose for me is being fulfilled.  I feel God’s unmet expectations hanging over me and the panic begins to rise!

                I recently discovered an overlooked verse in the book of Romans that has begun to help me in this area. Those of you, who know me, know that Romans and I have a long-standing relationship. It is the Book that confirmed my belief in the good news of God’s grace. I have taught many classes on it and feel that I know the content, but God’s word is always new and full of surprises!

                Romans 8:1 (This is not the overlooked verse!) begins with the word “Therefore”. I had a teacher who used to say that whenever the Apostle Paul uses the word “Therefore” you need to pay attention to what it is there for.  Paul uses that word a lot, and it is a flag that says, “What I am going to say now is because of, or the logical conclusion of, what I just finished saying. 

                The Book of Romans is actually a letter written by Paul, where he carefully and logically lays out the gospel, step by step.  He did not write it with chapters and introductory headings.  In the portion of the letter immediately preceding Romans 8, Paul had been detailing the futile struggle of all who want so much to do what is right – to please God – but fail, time and time again. Many of us are familiar with the final verses of that section, Romans 7:24-25(first part), “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  Such a heartfelt, desperate plea, followed by the glorious answer!

                Most of us think the section ends there. If we’re reading along we generally mumble our way through what is actually the rest of verse 25, in order to get to Romans 8:1, but this overlooked fragment of a verse is what the “Therefore” is there for!  Let me quote the verses the way they were written, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!  So, then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus….” 

                Did you catch it? Because of the fact that my mind and body are not in sync; because my mind wants to please God but my body just won’t cooperate, Therefore the condemnation has been removed.  Let me say it another way.  Jesus came to set me free from the fear of trying to be good and failing by removing the condemnation factor. And why did he do that?  Because he understands those of us who will quake at the slightest hint of God’s disapproval and will be afraid to even hope for change.  We are free to take two steps forward and three steps back.  God will not be mad at us.  Our inevitable failures do not surprise him and in fact were the reason he rescued us! He already knows we will fall frequently. But he will continue to love us and work in us both to want to and to do his will, with no condemnation.

                Deep inside, we all know God doesn’t want us to remain unchanged, never being “transformed by the renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2). We do realize our lives will be better, our relationships will benefit and our peace of mind will be greater the more like Christ we become. I believe the realization that God has no unmet expectations for us because Christ has met them all, and that we can simply surrender ourselves to the process resting securely in his love without fear of condemnation, will set us free to become God’s handiwork, his work of art.

Naughty or Nice

"...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."--Romans 6:23

          While humming along with Santa Claus Is Coming to Town the other day, I thought about the words and how they reflect many people's view of God - The people on God's Nice List are blessed and will go to heaven, while the ones on the Naughty List are going to hell.  I lived with that internalilzed belief for many years.  I wanted so badly to be good, for goodness sake, but deep inside I expected a lump of coal.
         
          Thankfully, I was finally shown that everyone who has ever lived, with one significant exception, is on the Naughty List and there is no amount of effort any one of us can put forth that is enough to get us off. The standards for the Nice List are just too high. The good news is, Jesus came and lived up to those standards for us and as a result, all the blessings of heaven and earth, reserved for those on that list, belong to anyone who accepts Jesus' gift.

          For me, the news of that gift has never gotten old; they joy and relief it brings me has never dimmed.  The excitement I feel when I think about it has never gone away.  I can't say that about any of the earthly gifts I have received, no matter how expensive or beautiful they were. Most of them are gone and forgotten. The gift of salvation remains ever new.

          The only time that joy has ever been threatened over the years has been when I have heard or read something that made me feel condemned and guilty again.  At those times I would slide, almost without thinking, into a posture of shame and defeat, and large doses of grace-filled scripture reading would be required to bring me back to a state of gratitude once more.

          I've often thought that the biggest battle Christians fight is the battle to continue to believe in God's grace.  One of the reasons for this is that the philosophies of this world which we live with on a daily basis are completely anti-grace!

          Worldly wisdom says, you have to earn what you get.  God says, "Now to the one who works, wages are not credited as a gift but as an obligation. However, to the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness." (Romans 4:4-5)

          The world says, you get what you pay for. God says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--" (Ephesians 2:8)

           The wisdom of the world says, "God helps those who help themselves." (Benjamin Franklin in Poor Richard's Almanac)  God says, "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly." (Romans 5:6)

          The world says, give me what I deserve.  God says, "For the wages of sin is death..." (Romans 6:23) If we got what we truly deserve, we are only deserving of death. The verse goes on to say, "...but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

          This Christmas season, my prayer for you is that no one can steal your joy as you remember that "Every good and perfect gift comes from above" (James 1:17); not from Santa who knows if you've been bad or good, but from the God who "...so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

My Way or the Highway

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. –Romans 14:19

               

                Expectations are set ups for disappointment any time of the year, but the time period beginning with Thanksgiving and ending with Christmas is a mine field of feelings waiting to be stepped on.  No other days in the calendar year are so fraught with family tradition and nostalgia. Each of us has a desire to recreate what was or to create what we always wanted and never had. Certain foods, certain days to do certain things at specific times with specific people – these things suddenly are of paramount importance. Normally complacent people become adamantly insistent on having their way.  Compromise is seen as defeat. Relationships are strained, friendships are threatened.  People entrench themselves in their positions and refuse to budge. What should be a joyous time of year becomes a battle zone.

            Why can’t we all just get along? It’s a valid question. It is so perverse to demand our own way at the expense of everyone’s happiness, including our own, yet we do it. Why? Sure, we have experiences which were meaningful to us that we wish to pass down.  We want to share the things that gave us pleasure with our loved ones. We have only noble goals.  But those goals are ruined at the root by selfishness.  This selfishness says the other person is the unreasonable one. This selfishness says that person is ruining my holiday. This selfishness says, “Why do I always have to give in?” This selfishness draws the line in the sand and says,” I will not be moved even if everyone is miserable as a result.”

            So, what is the answer?  Do you just give in and become the righteous martyr? Well, not exactly.  First of all, you recognize that you are not righteous, by any stretch of the imagination. Then, you remember who is, and you run to him and tell him what is going on and how you are feeling about it (because he loves you and is not going to stand there with his arms crossed and foot tapping with a disapproving look on his face!) Then, after you have poured it all out, you ask him to show you what to do and how to do it, graciously and with a loving heart. And he will.

            Have a grace-filled Christmas season!  

                                   

Life is Meant to be Frustrating

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. –John 16:33 

                I found something in scripture this week that rocked my world enough that I think I will experience aftershocks from it for a long time. It is in the book of Romans, which is my personal favorite; a book I have taught many times and am teaching now in my Senior High Sunday School Class. I was not expecting to find anything new. I was calmly preparing my lesson on the second half of Romans 8, when I saw it.  It’s in a verse I’ve read so many times; but suddenly my eyes were opened to an entirely new depth of meaning.

            The verse is Romans 8:20 and the hard-hitting truth is found in the first seven words:  “For the creation was subjected to frustration….” I quoted it in my blog, Life Hurts, but apparently I wasn’t paying attention even then.  I have this wonderful Bible that has both Old and New Testament Lexical Aids, which simply means you can look up the Hebrew or Greek words in a verse to see what the words meant in their original language. In this instance, I looked up the word translated as “frustration” – Mataiotes in the Greek. It means “Vanity, futility, meaninglessness, worthlessness. Not the absence of purpose, but the absence of true purpose and meaning.” Verse 20 goes on to say that the creation was subjected to this state by God.  

            Immediately those words brought the book of Ecclesiastes to mind. That book basically begins with the words, “Meaningless! Meaningless...Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” (Eccl.1:2) and then repeats it over and over throughout the remainder of the book. So I looked up the word translated “Meaningless” – Hebell in the Hebrew. And, lo and behold, it means “Vanity, futility, meaninglessness, worthlessness, emptiness.” The same word in the Hebrew!

            Stay with me here, I’m getting to the point. Solomon, who wrote the book of Ecclesiastes (as well as most of Proverbs and the Song of Songs), was given a very special gift by God. In 1 Kings 3, God told Solomon to ask for whatever he wanted, and Solomon asked for a discerning heart. God was pleased with the request and said he would give Solomon “a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be.” (1 Kings 3:12) Then, in 1 Kings 4 it says, “Solomon’s wisdom was greater than the wisdom of all the men of the East, and greater than all the wisdom of Egypt.  He was wiser than any other man…. “ (! Kings 4:30-31)

            While no one seems to have a problem with Proverbs and Song of Songs (except for the racy content), many Christians seem to be uncomfortable with the Book of Ecclesiastes. You’ll have to read it and draw your own conclusions, but I look at this book as Solomon’s Extraordinary Social Experiment. Using the unparalleled wisdom which God gave him, he set about trying out all of the things the world had to offer, and then reported on it.  He dove into all the typical pleasures the world holds dear – He had great wealth and power, he amassed property, built grand houses, planted vineyards, gardens, parks;  He had more than 1000 wives and concubines, he had people to wait on him, hand and foot.  He says, “I denied myself nothing my eyes desired.”  (Eccl. 2:10) He always makes a point of repeating that, during all of this experiment, his wisdom stayed with him, and, in the end, he reported, “Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless….” (Eccl. 2:11) He had the same thing to say about all the oppression, the labor, all the chasing after power and advancement, the quest for knowledge, all riches, all folly and, finally, even wisdom itself (although it was better than folly).

            The conclusion of the experiment was that everything this world has to offer, which seems so dazzling and desirable; which seems so necessary for happiness, is chased after in vain, because, in the end, it never delivers what it appeared to promise and ultimately leaves you empty and unsatisfied. Everything is worthless and without true purpose or meaning. And, why is that? Because God subjected all of the things of this world to that futility, so that when we experience the frustration and dissatisfactions of this world, we will turn to him.

            I have known so many people over the years who have lived as though they believed God was trying to keep them from enjoying the good things in life. As a matter of fact, wasn’t that the original lie Satan told Eve? God was not only trying to keep her from enjoying the luscious fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but he was also trying to hold her back from ultimate fulfillment by keeping her from reaching the level of a god herself. We humans still hold that lie close to our hearts. Many believe they can “have the best of both worlds” not understanding that the only true fulfillment, the only true purpose or meaning that can be found in all of creation, is found in God alone. 

            I can already feel this perspective, that God has intentionally subjected the things of this world to meaninglessness, changing the way I look at my life.  Why would I want to waste my time and resources on what I know God has purposely rendered futile and worthless?  Lord, show me how to stop chasing the wind.

Even When I Do Not See

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  --Psalm 34:18

                “If there is a God, what good is he anyway?” I uttered those words from the pit of despair about 25 years ago. My husband was out of work. We had been forced to move, with our three small children, far away from all of our family and friends. Those were the days before cell phones and cheap long distance. I couldn’t even afford to phone anyone to hear a friendly voice or have someone pray with me. What little savings we had was quickly running out and I saw no light at the end of the tunnel.  I had prayed and cried to God for help until I felt I had no tears left. If God existed, he had abandoned me, I declared, and there was no point in praying anymore.

                You would have to know me to truly understand the magnitude of that statement. All of my life I have prayed. Praying is my answer to everything. It is my first response to both good and bad news. I remember getting in the shower that morning and automatically beginning to pray, because that was my only private time away from my children and I used it to talk to God. But darkness fell over me like I had never before experienced; a total sense of hopelessness, because, for the first time in my life, I felt I had nowhere to turn.  My tears mingled with the water that cascaded over my body.

                I tried to function normally that day, for my family’s sake. I cooked and cleaned and played with my children, but my world was empty because God and I had turned our backs on each other. I was completely alone. 

                Then, in early afternoon, a UPS truck pulled up in front of my house. I wasn’t expecting anything and figured the driver had the wrong address.  Because it was nap time and I didn’t want him ringing the doorbell and waking my children, I walked outside to meet him.  In his hands he held a package addressed to me. I signed and walked back inside, intrigued. I looked for something that said where the package came from, but there was nothing on the outside. Curiously, I opened the box and inside was a book with only a packing list from the book store, no note. The book was entitled , You Gotta Keep Dancing, written by Tim Hansel.  I had never heard of it, but under the title was a verse, “You have changed my sadness into a joyful dance.” Psalm 30:11.  My heart went still.

                With wonder, I opened the book and read the flyleaf. It said, “Life can be tough. Stress, disappointment, heartache, hurt—all are part of the human condition. But while pain is unavoidable, misery is optional!”  Who had sent this to me? I had not been able to tell anyone what I was feeling. Who knew how drastically I needed this message? The answer was in my heart already. God knew. He was the only one that knew, and in his perfect timing he sent me an unmistakable message that he was with me. I had not been forsaken.

                I devoured that book until my children woke up, and then continued reading after they were in bed that night. The book is Tim Hansel’s own amazing story of incredible physical and emotional pain, and how God showed him he could choose joy in the midst of any circumstances. It was the very message of hope I needed. Our circumstances did not change right away, but my heart did.

                Since that day God has continued to teach me that He is not primarily interested in my earthly happiness and that I need to remove my focus from my desires and surrender to his perfect will in my life, trusting that he is always with me.  When I am tempted to fall into despair, I remember that day – the utter emptiness and hopelessness I felt, thinking I had nowhere to turn.-- and I raise a prayer of gratitude for the knowledge that he is always working for my good, even when I do not see.

Note: Yes, God did send me that book. The human instrument he used turned out to be my precious friend, Glenna Hadley, who has often been  there to help me through the trials of this life.

The Law of Love

Think of the most difficult class you ever took.  For me it was physics. Science and math were not my strong points. I’m a word person, but I needed another science in high school and one of my best friends somehow convinced me it would be fun to take physics together. As it turned out, we did not end up in the same class, and she was never available to help me with homework, so I was on my own. 

I remember sitting with my open text book and a dictionary, crying because I could not, for the life of me, understand what the text book was saying. I had never struggled like this in any other class. Looking back, if my teacher had come to me and said that he was giving me an A in the class so I wouldn’t have to be afraid of failure and that he would then teach me the material at my own pace, in a way that even I could understand, my joy and relief would have known no bounds.

The analogy I have used many times over the years in my Senior High Sunday School Class is just like that. In the Class of Salvation the stakes are high. We are required to have a perfect score, unable to miss one point, or we are eternally lost.  But Jesus offers to give us an A, the A he earned, and he in turn takes all of our missed points, all of our failures, as his own. Then, he gives us the Holy Spirit as our personal tutor, who provides a personally designed course of study to help us learn the material, in ways that even we can understand. The fear of failure is removed, and that makes all the difference!

My blog entitled The Law of Moses was comprised only of scriptures which talked about Jesus fulfilling the law of Moses for us by his life, death and resurrection.  That is the A he obtained for us. The righteous requirements of the law were met by Jesus, for us. The fear of failure is removed.

The verses below, then, are the key to the rest of what God intends for us – the personally designed course of study to help us learn the material.  “…we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.” (Romans 7:6) With confidence that we are not condemned for the many times we will fail, we have a “new” standard (which is really the original; much older than the law of Moses). It is Christ's command to love others in the way we have been loved. 

This “law of love”, is intended to be used by the Holy Spirit as the transforming agent in our lives. There is no more need to try and remember all the endless rules of do’s and don’ts. Now there is just one thing to remember, Love others the way God in Christ loved you.        

Granted, it’s a higher standard, maybe more difficult than all of the endless rules, but as we measure our thoughts and actions against it we are challenged to learn and grow; we are encouraged to become like the one who first loved us and asks us to pass that love along – not to earn our salvation, but to share what we have been given.

Again, please read them all. Read together they are so powerful!

1 John 3:23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.

Galatians 5:14
The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself.

James 2:8 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right.                                                                      

Romans 13:8-10  Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

Galatians 6:2
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

John 13:34-35. A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

John 15:16-17  You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other.

1Peter 4:8  Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

1John 4:9-11  This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

John 15:9-12  As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

Let Go of the Wheel

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.                                   –Isaiah 42:16

           

                I walked into my dark bedroom and fell onto the bed in exhaustion. It was March of 1994 and I had just returned from the Veterans hospital in Washington, DC where my husband was being treated for a near fatal heart attack.  It was hard to leave him there, but we had three children at home, ages 11, 12 and 14, who needed comfort and reassurance. At that moment, however, I didn’t have it to give. I was full of fear and dread. I didn’t know what to tell them because I had no idea what lay ahead. I just needed a few minutes to regroup, I thought, as I closed my eyes. Immediately, I fell asleep and began to dream.

            In the dream I was driving my husband to the hospital. It was nighttime and rain was coming down in torrents. Every muscle in my body was tense as I gripped the wheel, trying to peer through the darkness and driving rain at the road before us. We were on some major highway and there were many other cars surrounding us. I was concerned because we were all travelling at a high rate of speed even under these bad conditions and I assumed everyone else was having the same problem seeing the road as I was.  All of a sudden, the inside of our car began to fill up with a dense fog. I was unable to see anything now. I gripped the wheel even harder and tried to continue steering but I had lost all sense of the road and where I was in relation to the traffic around me. Then, the car began to spin! Terror and panic seized me as I futilely tried to right the car, and then instantly I understood that the only way to survive was to let go of the wheel, and I did.

            I woke up then, my heart still pounding, but immediately I understood the meaning of the dream. This situation with my family was far beyond my ability to control. I needed to acknowledge that and surrender that control to the One who could steer us safely through whatever lay ahead. Now I knew what to tell my children.

The Law of Moses

Please read these verses all the way to the end.  To me they are so powerful when you see them all together! Let me know if you agree.

Romans 10:4
Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.

Galatians 3:21-25 For if a law had been given that could impart life, then righteousness would certainly have come by the law. But the Scripture declares that the whole world is a prisoner of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe. Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed

So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.

Galatians 5:4
You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. 

Acts 13:39 Through him everyone who believes is justified from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses.                                                                             

Romans 3:20-21 Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.  But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify.

Romans 3:28  For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from observing the law.

Romans 4:14  For if those who live by law are heirs, faith has no value and the promise is worthless.

Romans 7:6 But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.

Romans 8:3 For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.

Romans 10:3-4 Since they did not know the righteousness that comes from God and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God's righteousness. Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes.

Galatians 2:15-16  We...know that a man is not justified by observing the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by observing the law, because by observing the law no one will be justified.

Galatians 2:21 I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!

Galatians 3:11  Clearly no one is justified before God by the law, because, "The righteous will live by faith.

Philippians 3:8-9 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

Colossians 2:13-15   When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.

1Cor 15:55-57  "Where, O death, is your victory?
      Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Life Hurts

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  –Isaiah 41:10

                Life hurts.  We are constantly misunderstood. We are not loved the way we want to be loved. Our health deserts us. We fail as parents. We fail as children. Family members and dear friends die. Our jobs do not give us the meaning, money or prestige we were hoping for. We may achieve our goals, but we still feel empty. Overall, life seems disappointing at best, hopeless at worst. It may sound strange for me, as a Christian, to say this.  But I have come to believe that, as a Christian, it is an important truth to state.

                This world is not heaven. This whole earth was “subjected to frustration” (Romans 8:20).  We want to be happy. We want our family and friends to be happy. We view happiness as the ultimate goal. There is a good reason for this.  God created us to live in a perfect world. We still retain the expectation of that perfect world in our DNA. But earth is not that perfect world. Sadly, our lessons here are best learned through suffering.   If the pursuit of earthly happiness is our focus, even “wholesome” happiness, we are missing the point. God is not as interested in our comfort and contentedness on this earth as we are. The painful realities of this world are meant to point us to the only one who can help us and give us hope. Our lives here are to be about acknowledging him as our Lord and Savior; surrendering our hopes, dreams, expectations, even our “rights” to him, and trusting that his hand is leading and guiding us through the pain and disappointment of whatever circumstances we face.

                One day there will be a new heaven and a new earth. One day “the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.”  One day “He will wipe every tear from [our} eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things [will have] passed away.” (Rev. 21:4). Until that day, know that God is with you and is holding you.

Already There

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. –Psalm 91:4

                I was lying in bed filled with fear and dread, unable to sleep. My husband’s valiantly fought battle with cancer was nearing the end. I had left him at the hospital earlier in the evening to come home to our three teenage children. I knew I had to go to work in the morning, but when sleep wouldn’t come I finally turned the light on and grabbed my Bible, hoping to find comfort that would allow me to get some rest. But my mind kept straying from the verses I was trying to read as I faced the uncertain future. 

Our only sources of income were my husband’s Social Security disability check and the small income I had from managing a kiosk at a mall. We had long since exhausted any savings. There was no life insurance. I had no idea how I would provide for our family financially.  Would we lose our home? And, more importantly, would I be able to provide emotional support for my husband in this process of letting go of this life? Would I be able to be strong for my children, or would I fall apart completely and be unable to function?

                I finally closed my Bible and prayed. I cried and poured out my fears to God. I laid out my bleak future before him and told him I didn’t think I could do what would need to be done. I expected to feel better after I prayed, but all I felt was drained.  I turned over then, to put my Bible back on the nightstand and turn out the light, and saw something lying on the floor next to my bed.  It was a small Pass It On card. For those of you who don’t know what those are, they are business sized cards which usually have pictures on them and some encouraging saying, or a scripture. I had some that had been given to me that I kept in my Bible, but this was one I had never seen before.  I leaned down and picked it up. On it was a beautiful picture of a rainbow and the words, “Do Not Be Afraid of Tomorrow. God is Already There.”

                And He was. And He is. I still have that card stuck to my mirror so I won’t forget.

Good News Revisited

[Before you read this - If you have not yet read my blog entitled Good News, please read that first. This is the sequel]

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. –John 8:36

Once upon a time, a little later than the first time, there was a man who had been a prisoner.  He had been freed by a philanthropist, and while I could retell the whole story, I think I’ll just continue on from here….

            The minute the man stepped off the prison grounds he was surrounded by a crowd of reporters who shouted, “How do you feel about being freed and acclaimed as our most outstanding citizen?” 

            The criminal was taken aback at first, but recovering quickly he responded, “Amazed and grateful!  No one could be more undeserving than I am, but I stand before you a changed man!  I swear to you, from this moment on I intend to live my life in a way that will demonstrate just how thankful and indebted I am to this man who has given me a new chance at life!  Somehow I will find a way to repay him!”  And, with the reporters still clamoring for more, he turned and walked with resolve into that new life.

            With his new found public image came many invitations to make appearances at

 Community functions.  He was interviewed incessantly, and repeated his initial heart-felt promise so many times that it became almost a meaningless mantra.  He founded, coordinated, publicized, oversaw and administered so many charities that he began to lose track.  And through it all, the force behind all this driven behavior was his belief that somehow he needed to do something to deserve the remarkable gift he had been given.

            To his credit, he lasted a year before he burned out.

            On the day he was to be named the Association of Charitable Foundations’ Man of the Year, he woke up and said to himself, “I quit!”  And after the initial adrenaline rush that generally accompanies defiance, he turned off the alarm, the cordless phone, and the cell phone and went back to sleep. 

            Of course, when he awoke and realized what he had done, remorse set in.  His original concern was how he would ever face people and explain why he had missed his own award presentation. But, deeper than that was the guilt and disappointment he felt in himself for betraying what he had seen as a sacred trust.  He had let the philanthropist down. 

            And yet, at the same time he was experiencing these feelings of shame, he also felt rather justified in what he thought of as his rebellion. After all, he had given an entire year of diligent service to mankind.  Surely he had a right to his own life.  He had taken no time for pleasure.  It was his turn!

            And so, forcing his first emotions into the background, he began to take his turn. He resigned from the boards of all his charitable organizations. He turned a deaf ear to all new pleas for his help.  He brushed off reporters with only a “No comment,” when they asked for an explanation. And whenever a nagging feeling of guilt would rise up he would smother it with a litany of self-justification.

            The only store he had to draw from for pleasure-seeking was the life he had lived before he went to prison.  It took awhile to locate some of his old friends and to convince them that he was serious about getting together for old times’ sake, but once he broke the ice it was almost as if he had never been away.  Soon he was back into the full swing of the party scene.  Sometimes though, usually when he was drunk and not as in control of his emotions as he tried to be when sober, he would think about the philanthropist and remember what had been done for him. A wave of guilt would threaten to engulf him, but his solution was to keep drinking and drown those thoughts. That worked for awhile.

            Then, one sleepless night, he came to the sudden realization that he was as surely in prison now as he had been when he was back in his cell on death row.  He looked at the life he was living, this life that had been given to him as a gift from the philanthropist, and he was overcome with self-loathing and disgust.  Yet, he saw nowhere to go.  The people he had worked with when he was first released from prison viewed him with nothing but scorn and had long ago crossed him off their lists.  The only friends he had now were his party pals, and he knew they would never understand him if he tried to talk to them about what he was feeling about his empty, selfish life. He was trapped and in despair.  He couldn’t go forward and he couldn’t go back.  Thoughts of suicide entered his mind.  He had wanted to be worthy of the gift he had been given, but he was unable to keep up the pace.  He had wanted to pursue what he thought of as pleasure, but found it shallow and empty.  He tossed and turned through the endless night.

            When morning came a letter arrived.  It was simply there in his mail box, addressed in unfamiliar handwriting, but bearing his name.  He opened it.  It was from the philanthropist.

He read:

“My Friend, My Brother,

            I wrote this letter to you before my death and left explicit instructions for it to be delivered to you at this time.  You see, I knew you would reach this point in your life sooner or later. 

            When you were first released you were humbled and grateful and had a sincere desire to prove yourself worthy of the gift I gave you.  That was an honorable desire, but the fact of the matter is, you were not deserving of the gift when I gave it to you, and you could never do enough to deserve it. I gave it to you freely, not asking anything in return.  If you had never done one thing I would still have taken your place.  This gift of life is yours to use as you wish.  Obviously I have already paid your debt.  When I set you free I set you completely free.

            You, however put yourself back into prison.  First you were imprisoned by the obligation you set for yourself to repay me.  If someone pays the giver for the gift it is no longer a gift. I never asked for or desired payment from you, because no matter what you paid it could never be enough.  This led to resentment of what you now saw as an overwhelming debt.  Instead of being grateful for the free gift of life, all you could see were endless years of selfless acts stretching out before you.  My gift became a burden.  The next obvious step was rebellion.

            Having made a break from the first prison, you ran headlong into the second one.  You set out on a course of self-destruction billed as Pleasure and Freedom. To assert your liberation from your self-imposed debt of continuous noble deeds, you launched yourself into the same dead-end lifestyle that got you onto death row to begin with.  And sure enough, you have reached that dead-end.

            Pride now has you tightly locked up.  It is too humiliating to go back to those who used to look up to you but now hold you in contempt.  And it would also be too mortifying to admit to your party crowd that their way of life leaves you parched and desperate.
            So, where do you go from here?  Do you remember the incredible joy you felt when you were first told about the deal that I offered you?  Do you remember why?  It wasn’t only because you were being released from prison.  It was because it was free.  There were no catches.  There were no strings.  There was no cost.  You were being given something that was worth more than any human being could ever have deserved, and you did not have to do ANYTHING to receive it except to say “Yes.”

It was such good news!  And it still is!  Nothing has changed.  Go back to that moment and savor it.  Nothing remains to pay.  I have paid it all.  The new life is still yours with no obligation.  Enjoy it.  Seek pleasure that is genuine and rewarding.  Find delight in things that fulfill the deep longings of your heart.  Look for what will bring you lasting contentment.  Give, but give out of joyful abandonment, not out of dutiful drudgery.  Be free! 

Think for a moment about the last selfless acts you performed that actually filled you to overflowing with happiness, perhaps there you will find the path you are looking for.”

           

            Tears streamed down the man’s face as once more he was set free by the philanthropist, this time from a prison of his own making.  He saw clearly now that anything he did in remembrance of the gift given to him was simply a gift of love. The burden of having so much to pay yet never being able to pay enough was gone.  The burden of needing to take the philanthropist’s place in the world was gone.  He was free, free to explore who and what he really wanted to be.

            His eyes caught again the final sentence of the letter and he reflected on what that last truly enjoyable act had been.  He realized with a pang it had been sharing the good news with the other death row inmates.  As he opened the envelope to put away the letter, he saw another folded sheet of paper.  Curiously he opened it.  On it was a list of the names and addresses of the other inmates with a one line note.  As he read it he smiled, “Perhaps they need to be set free again too.”