Why Did You Doubt?

 “While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”  Matthew 26:26

 A snippet of a sermon I was listening to the other day referenced the story of Peter walking on the water, which led to my deciding to write a blog about that story.  We have all heard it so many times, but I thought I could give it a different slant by telling the story first from the angle of Action/Consequence and then retelling it from the viewpoint of Death/Resurrection.  Simple.

The Action/Consequence story, being the “This is what you do; this is what you should do instead” version, goes like this:  Jesus told Peter to get out of the boat.  Peter obeyed and was able to walk on the water until he took his eyes off of Jesus and immediately began to sink.  Jesus, then, had to rescue Peter and rebuked him for having such little faith, asking him why he doubted.  The moral of the story is, when you keep your eyes on Jesus, you can do anything.  Don’t take your eyes off of Jesus.  Don’t doubt.  Have faith and everything will be all right.

Easy enough.  I could do that without even looking it up!

However, to prepare for the Death/Resurrection version, I turned to Scripture.  Even though the story of Jesus walking on the water is told in Matthew, Mark and John, only Matthew includes Peter in the story.  This immediately struck me as odd.  Most Bible scholars agree that the book of Mark is actually Peter’s version of Jesus’ life.  Why would Peter leave himself out of the account?  I tucked that question away.

I wanted to look at the context of the story and I had to go back a ways to find it.  The story actually began with Jesus sending the twelve disciples out two by two, giving them authority over evil spirits.  Mark 6:12-13 says, “They went out and preached that people should repent.  They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.”  What heady stuff that must have been for this band of unknown tax collectors, fishermen, etc. who had no formal rabbinical training!  When they returned from their journey they got back together and sat down with Jesus to tell him all about what had happened.  Mark, chapter 6 verse 30 says, “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’”

Matthew Chapter 14:13 tells us that Jesus had just heard about the death of John the Baptist and he, too,  wanted some time alone.  Have you ever been physically and emotionally depleted and simply needed a quiet place to regroup and recover your equilibrium?  It doesn’t matter whether it is from a good situation, like a successful ministry trip, or a bad situation, where you have received word that a loved one has died tragically; sometimes you just need to spend some time with God, apart from the demands of your life, to re-center.  So, Jesus and the disciples took a boat to a “solitary place” to do just that.

The problem was, word about the secret location leaked out, and by the time they arrived, a crowd had already gathered to meet them.  There was no solitude and no time for rest!  Matthew 14:14 says, When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.”  Mark 6:34 says, “…he had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd.” 

So, Jesus healed, taught and ministered to them until it was late in the day, but then a problem arose.  This was not a location in the heart of a city; this was a remote, solitary place.  There were no merchants nearby selling fast food.  A discussion ensued between Jesus and the disciples about how to deal with this matter.  The people needed to eat.  The disciples suggested Jesus send the people away at that point so they could go find something. In Mark 6:37, Jesus offered another suggestion, “You give them something to eat.”

The disciples were appalled.  I’m sure they imagined the whole unlikely process of trekking off to find some place to buy enough food for five thousand men, not to mention the women and children; then handing over eight months wages to pay for all of it, and finally, somehow managing to haul it all back to the remote location in a timely manner, to feed the restless, hungry mob approximately one bite each (John 6:7).

Jesus then asked them how much food they could find in the crowd itself.  Andrew reported that a child had five small barley loaves and 2 fish, and insightfully asked the obvious, “…but how far will they go among so many?” (John 6:9)

Undaunted, Jesus calmly directed the disciples to seat the people in orderly groups, then he simply looked up to heaven, gave thanks and started breaking up the loaves and passing around the food.  As we know, not only was there plenty to eat, but Jesus directed that the leftovers be picked up afterward so that nothing would be wasted, and twelve baskets full of bread and fish were collected.

Matthew’s account in chapter 14 verse 22 then says, “Immediately, Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd.”  Mark says almost the exact thing in chapter 6:45.  There was no transition.  Jesus fed the crowd, collected the remains, and immediately made the disciples leave.  The Greek word translated “made” is “Anankazo” and it implies compelling by force or external violence.  In no uncertain terms, Jesus insisted that the disciples leave right then.  There was no room for argument!

John gives us a glimpse into the reason Jesus was so adamant the disciples had to be separated from the crowd immediately.  Chapter 6 verse 15 says, “Jesus, knowing that they (the people) intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.”  Jesus was well aware that the disciples, still high on the success of their missionary journey and now having witnessed this miraculous event, were quite likely to agree with the crowd and join them in their quest to make Jesus their new king, by force if necessary; so, he initiated a type of force himself, and made the disciples get into the boat and go.  Jesus remained behind to disperse the crowd, and then to finally spend that alone time with God for which he had come in the first place.

The disciples, on the other hand, were about to spend some alone time they had not anticipated. All of the accounts in scripture say it was about evening when the disciples set out.  The winds were strong and the disciples strained at the oars because they were rowing against the wind.  The waves buffeted the boat.  Progress was slow and made with great effort.  Scripture seems to indicate that Jesus was aware of their circumstances throughout the night.  Mark says Jesus saw them.  Whether he could physically see them from the mountainside where he had gone to pray, or whether this was divine sight, we don’t know, but either way, he knew exactly where they were, because in the “fourth watch of the night”, which is about three to six in the morning, typically the darkest part of the night, Jesus finally determined it was time to come to them.

Imagine for a moment that you are one of the disciples in the boat.  It is dark, and you have been struggling and straining for hours to row against the fierce winds, making very little headway.  You were already very tired before the day began, and now you have reached the point of utter exhaustion and you are still far from your destination.  Then, you look across the waters and see something coming toward you, but you can’t quite make it out.  It’s not another boat.  You squint and peer through the darkness and spray of the waves.  Suddenly you realize this thing appears to be a person, but your mind tells you that no person could be walking on top of the water.  Logic then tells you that, if it appears to be a human form, but it is approaching on top of the water, it must be a spirit, or ghost.  You’ve never seen a ghost before, but within the framework of your circumstances and your physical and mental state, this is the only conclusion you can draw.  Your response to that conclusion is abject terror.

Have you ever experienced abject terror; where your mind sort of disconnects from your body and you become paralyzed?  It was right at that point Jesus spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”

The disciples recognized Jesus’ voice. John’s account said that once they heard him they were willing to take him into the boat; in other words, once they knew it was Jesus and not a ghost, they decided it was safe to bring him aboard. But in Matthew’s version, as soon as they heard Jesus’ voice telling them not to be afraid, Peter shouted out, “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.”

And Jesus said simply, “Come.”

I can’t say with any authority what Peter’s motivation was.  It seems safe to assume he didn’t have much doubt that it was Jesus because once the invitation was issued he climbed right out of the boat.  My suspicion is that Peter’s adrenaline was still pumping after the ghost fright; and Peter, always ready to act or speak first and think later, felt a need to do something with all that fight-or-flight energy and walking on water seemed to be just the thing!  Jesus was willing to go along. 

Because I’d read this story of walking on the water so many times, the idea had lost some of its awe for me; but, years ago I read Richard Bach’s book, Illusions, and in it there is a scene where the messiah figure swims in the earth.  The land maintained its solid earthiness, but he was able to breast-stroke, back float, etc., in the ground.  That passage opened up the wonder of this scene for me again. 

Peter, however, didn’t need anything to stimulate his sense of wonder! I can almost feel his amazement and exhilaration as he walked toward Jesus.  He must have thought, “I’m actually walking on water!” Then, the adrenaline began to wane and reality set in.  “Wait! I’m actually doing what? I can’t walk on water!”  I imagine it as someone waking up from sleep-walking.  Suddenly the same fierce wind he had been battling when he was in the boat was much more real than this crazy idea that he could walk on water.   He became terrified once more, and right away he began to sink.  Fortunately, he knew where to turn for help, and cried out, “Lord, save me!”  And, of course, Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him.

As Action/Consequence oriented beings, we cannot initially read the words which Jesus says next without hearing them in the context of a rebuke. We just can’t.  “You of little faith,” Jesus said, “why did you doubt?”  But, it occurs to me that there is another way of reading these words: as a simple description and a genuine question for Peter to ponder.  In my last blog, Connect the Dots, I talked about the fact that the disciples were only able to view the events during their time with Jesus through the lens of Action/Consequence until after the gift of the Holy Spirit was given to them at Pentecost.  Because of that, I imagine Peter, too, was only able to hear those words as a rebuke when they were spoken to him; but Jesus knew a time would come when Peter would be able to hear them from a different perspective.

In every version, when Jesus climbed into the boat the wind instantly died down and the disciples were once more astounded at his power. They worshipped him, and declared that he was “Truly the Son of God.” In Mark, which I mentioned earlier is thought to be primarily Peter’s own account of Jesus’ ministry, we don’t know why Peter left himself out of the story (maybe embarrassment, maybe humility?) but he includes an insight at the end of his version that holds the key to answering the question Jesus asked him; an insight he could only have come to after the Holy Spirit opened his eyes to the Death/Resurrection perspective. Through Mark he says, “They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves, their hearts were hardened.”  The key, then, is understanding the true meaning of the loaves.

John, who loves to focus more on the inner meaning of the events than the events themselves, sheds some light on the cryptic comment in Mark.  He picks up the story the day after the feeding of the five thousand and the water walking incident.  The crowd had discovered that Jesus had somehow slipped away and they scouted him out once again.  “Rabbi,” they asked, “when did you get here?”

Jesus, who was already wise to their desire to make him king, didn’t play along with them.  “I tell you the truth,” he answered, “you are looking for me not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill.”

The word for “miraculous signs” in the Greek is “Semeion”.  It is a word that conveys the idea of a true miracle, which is primarily about the grace and power of the Doer; not about the miracle itself.  In other words, Jesus knew the people weren’t looking for him because they acknowledged the grace and power of God and had grasped the meaning behind what he had done; they were looking for him because they were excited about what he was capable of doing for them.  Their hearts and the hearts of the disciples were hardened, in the same way that all of our hearts are innately hardened--on our own, we are only capable of understanding through the filter of Action/Consequence, and through that filter everything is ultimately about us and what we can get for ourselves.

The disciples were thrilled to be followers of someone who could give them power over demons and the ability to heal the sick.  The crowd was ecstatic at the thought of having a king who had the power to feed them or give them whatever they wanted.  Peter was excited about having a master and friend who made it possible for him to do something as amazing as walking on water.  Then the disciples were awed at the prospect of knowing they had access to one who could rescue them from every danger.  They saw unlimited potential for Jesus as King, for themselves as his trusted friends and for the nation of Israel. The future was bright!

But the real meaning of the loaves was missed completely, and Jesus began to tell them that meaning.  “I am the bread of life” he said.  “Your forefathers ate the manna in the desert, yet they died.  But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which a man may eat and not die.  I am the living bread that came down from heaven.  If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever.  This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”

The meaning of the loaves was not that Jesus can give us everything we think we need.  The true meaning of the loaves is that Jesus himself is the all-sufficient provision for everything we need.  Everything we need we already possess in Jesus.  Our hope is not found in how Jesus can provide for our temporal needs or even what he can enable us to do, but in what he has already done for us.

Why did Peter have so little faith? Because his faith was focused on what Jesus was allowing him to do. Why did he doubt? Because when we focus on ourselves and how we are doing, we will always see our inadequacies, the reality of the wind will always overwhelm us, we will always be afraid and we will always sink.  And when we sink, we will do what he has wanted all along—cry out, “Lord, save me!”  And he will immediately reach out his hand and catch us. Every time.

Connect the Dots

                               

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.  John 14:26

I had a troubling thought this week: Why is it that spending copious amounts of time with Jesus had very little transformative effect on his disciples? They were with him day in and day out for three and a half years, watching him perform miracles, listening to him teach publicly and privately. They were by his side as he lived out his perfect life. They witnessed his communion with his father. They went on missionary journeys and performed miracles themselves. And yet, despite all of that, their thinking was Action/Consequence to the very end of Jesus’ time with them.

What do I mean by that?  Action/Consequence is humanity’s natural, default way of thinking. It is me-centered; about what I do and what I expect to achieve or receive as a result. An Action/Consequence life is focused on seeking our own gratification, recognition, glory, honor and praise. As a result, we will view others as competitors and opponents. We compare and measure, judge, condemn and blame in an effort to magnify our own achievements and avoid any association with failure or personal disgrace. We do this to validate our existence; to generate our own worth. This world view is the one from which the disciples operated during their time with Jesus.

Throughout that time, the twelve disciples frequently argued and fought over who would be the greatest in Jesus’ earthly kingdom. The mother of James and John, two members of the trio with whom Jesus developed an even closer relationship than he had with the other nine, came to make the case for her sons to be his right and left hand men when he came into power. The other disciples were appalled and angry at the power-grab. Peter, the third member of the trio, after realizing that Jesus’ earthly Kingdom wasn’t about to be established after all, took the politically prudent route and disavowed any association with Jesus in an attempt to escape guilt by association. The rest of the disciples also fled.

After spending forty days with Jesus after his death and resurrection, literally seconds before they watched him disappear into the clouds, the disciples asked Jesus if he was finally ready to restore the kingdom to Israel. Even at this point, they were still thinking about Jesus in terms of his temporal impact on their lives and the world; that is, in terms of Action/Consequence.

My questions are, why were the disciples not changed by their extremely close relationship with Jesus? It seems obvious that they were changed later, but what made the difference?

As Jesus was approaching his death he began to speak more and more frequently about the Holy Spirit. In John 16 Jesus tells his disciples it is actually good that he is going to leave them, because, unless he does, the Counselor, Advocate, or Holy Spirit, will not come to them. He goes on to explain that there is much more he wants the disciples to understand, but that they are not ready. He tells them that the Spirit will guide them into all of the truth. He says that the Spirit will bring glory to him (Jesus) by taking from what belongs to him (Jesus) and making it known to them.

We also find that Jesus, during the forty days after his death and resurrection, commanded the disciples not to leave Jerusalem until they had received the gift of the Holy Spirit. The final words he spoke to them, as he disappeared into the clouds, were regarding the fact that they would receive power when the Holy Spirit came on them, and that then they would be his witnesses to the ends of the earth. His point was that they were not to run off and try to talk to anyone about anything until the promised Holy Spirit came.

We know that, according to Acts chapter 2, this was fulfilled on the day of Pentecost. The Holy Spirit came and filled them; and quite suddenly, those same disciples who had remained steadfastly Action/Consequence oriented throughout their entire time with Jesus, were miraculously given the ability by the Spirit to finally see everything they had experienced with Jesus for the last three and a half years through the brand new lens of Death/Resurrection; and that new perspective changed everything!

At last all of the dots were connected; dots the disciples were entirely incapable of connecting themselves. Only through the Death/Resurrection lens were they finally able to see who Jesus actually was, what he had come to do and why he had to do it; and when the sheer magnitude of it hit them, they could not keep quiet! They began immediately to shout the news from the roof tops. They were instantly witnesses who began to testify not only about the facts of what they had seen and heard, but what those things meant; and they told those who were listening that they too could receive the gift of the Holy Spirit, and he would then open their eyes and hearts so they would be able to understand the meaning as well.

Without the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit opening our minds to this unnatural Death/Resurrection way of thinking, no one would ever be able to comprehend the meaning behind who we are in relation to God [dead in our trespasses and sins], and what the only solution is to our condition [resurrection, through Jesus Christ our Lord], we would remain in the same blinded state as the disciples were prior to Pentecost.

Without that divinely given understanding of Death/Resurrection, we will even view the work of the Holy Spirit through the lens of Action/Consequence! We will believe that the Holy Spirit is given to us primarily to make us into good moral people whose exemplary behavior will shine a light into a darkened world; as if our good behavior could save anyone! Only Jesus' good behavior is able to save, and not because we emulate it, but because his obedience is credited to our account.

The primary work of the Holy Spirit is to bring glory, not to us, but to Jesus, by taking what belongs to him and making it known to us. (John 16:14) It is only as the Holy Spirit graciously reveals to us, day by day and minute by minute, the truth of what God has done for us through the life, death and resurrection of his son, Jesus Christ, that we begin to be transformed by the renewing of our Action/Consequence saturated minds.

Spiritual Amnesia

The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying:  “I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”  Jeremiah 31:3

 

 

I’m a sucker for a love story, especially one with a happy ending.  One of my favorite movies is 50 First Dates. Henry falls in love with Lucy, a girl who suffered an accident which caused permanent damage to the part of her brain controlling her short term memory.  Every morning Lucy, who only remembers life before the accident, must be informed of her situation and all that has happened since that fateful day.  Moving forward in life is almost impossible for her because no new memory is retained.  The determined Henry woos Lucy, winning her heart day after day.  Eventually, Lucy decides that Henry should not have to bear the burden of her disability and pushes him away.  However, even though there is no hope of Lucy recovering her short term memory, Henry discovers he has touched something deeper in Lucy than her memory; love has imprinted his image on her heart.  In the end, love triumphs and they live happily ever after.

I’ve come to believe that every good love story is based on our intuitive desire for grace; for unconditional love that overcomes every obstacle in its relentless pursuit of the undeserving beloved.  50 First Dates follows that pattern, but it is the obstacle itself which intrigued me as I thought about it this week.

I’ve been writing lately about the two ways of viewing all of life: Action/Consequence and Death/Resurrection.  Action/Consequence is our natural, default way of thinking.  Its focus is on me and what I do.  If I do this I will get that.  If I don’t do this, I won’t get that.  This gives us the illusion of control.  We view others as competitors, opponents.  We compare and compete. We measure and judge. We condemn others, and ourselves.  We seek to avoid failure and achieve personal glory, and we make it the basis of our identity. This is the foundation of all human thinking.  When Christianity is viewed through the Action/Consequence lens, Jesus is mentioned only in passing; the idea of his dying for our sins is used only as a springboard for the real emphasis, which is about us and what we are to do.

Death/Resurrection, on the other hand, is completely unnatural and counterintuitive. Its way of viewing life is upside down and backward from the way we instinctively think.  This viewpoint is not something we can manufacture on our own.  It is a gift from outside of us, through the ministry of the Holy Spirit.  In this paradigm, the focus is not on what we do or don’t do, it is always and only on what has been done for us by God, through his son, Jesus Christ.  It is based on the biblical understanding that we are dead in our transgressions and sins (Ephesians 2:1) and incapable of doing anything for ourselves.  Our only hope is resurrection, which must come from outside of us. Ephesians 2:4-5 tells us that is exactly what God did, “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” In this world view we are all dead men brought back to life. There is no one better than another; no basis for comparing and competing, judging or condemning.  The only glory goes to the One who has done everything for us.

When God comes to us and opens our minds to Death/Resurrection, we receive the news with great joy and relief.  Possibilities open before us.  Wonder fills our hearts at the amazing news that we are God’s beloved, not because we earned it or deserved it, or that we must earn it or deserve it in the future, but simply because he saw us just as we are, and he desired us to be his own.  His unreasonable love pursues us and overcomes all obstacles!

Then, we go to sleep, and in the morning we have reset to Action/Consequence. 

I have berated myself so many times for how quickly I forget God’s grace.  I have been appalled at my ability to be so grateful and trusting one minute, and in the next so ungrateful, anxious and ashamed.  I am exhilarated by the good news I find in scripture one day and the following day I can only see my failure and God’s disapproval, and question whether any of the good news was true.  I have trouble imagining how God could possibly keep putting up with my stupidity and obvious lack of appropriate response to his love.  Why can’t I retain the gospel?  How is it that the concept of grace seems so illusive; first clear then obscure?

This week, God patiently made me aware that Action/Consequence is all that we have on our own.  We will inevitably reset to our default.  Death/Resurrection is not an understanding at which we can arrive through our own efforts; it is always a gift, doled out daily like the manna was to the Israelites.  It is by revelation only.  It is new every morning.

We may forget, but God’s love has imprinted his image on our hearts.  Rather than being angry with us, he dazzles us anew with the miracle of grace.  He brings us from despair to hope again.  He woos us and wins our hearts day after day. It’s Christmas every day, with the excitement of receiving the best present ever.  The relief and reassurance never gets old; the child-like delight never goes away.

Every morning, God tells us our story again.  He opens us to the possibilities and revives our joy and sense of wonder.  He is well aware of our reset disability, and he assures us that his love for us will always triumph and we will move forward together until we live happily ever after.  That’s the best love story of all!

 

 

Come On, God, What Are You Thinking?

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21




I have control issues. I admit it. I have very definite ideas about how things should be and the best way to make them happen. I remember being in a terrible traffic jam on the Washington Beltway one day. I became increasingly incensed at the inconsiderate drivers who thought it was a great idea to pass all the stopped vehicles by driving on the shoulder. Of course they eventually had to merge back in, so in essence, they were just rudely cutting in line.

I finally decided that I would put a stop to it. I self-righteously moved my car to the right so that I was half in the right lane and half on the shoulder,  blocking people from passing me. Then, a car decided to defy my blockade and passed me on the right, coming so close to my car that his door handle was a fraction of an inch from scraping my car. I became so enraged that I slammed my hand  on my horn so hard I jammed my thumb and had a painful reminder for weeks of my determination to single-handedly control the entire Washington Beltway.

That incident is just an example of my desire to maintain the illusion that I am in control and that my way is the best way. In my saner moments, when the Holy Spirit has opened my mind to the Death/Resurrection* viewpoint, I know that, not only am I not in control,  but I do not want to be! However, because Action/Consequence* is my default model and I slip into it without even being aware, I easily lose that concept and have to be brought back to it.

I had to be brought back to it again this week. I was quite certain that I knew what needed to be done and I had tried very hard to cover all my bases with elaborate plans to ensure that my will would prevail; but, in what I initially considered to be a very unfortunate set of circumstances, all of my elaborate plans were thwarted. I was fit to be tied, as my mother used to say.

I fussed and fumed, and then I called a friend. "I need someone to tell me that God is in control and he knows what he is doing," I said angrily. She asked me what happened and I explained. She listened and responded sympathetically,  then she dutifully complied with my original request.

"God is in control,  and he knows what he's doing, " she said softly. As she spoke I felt some of the tension lift. We talked then about the truth of that statement and how God sees and knows everything about the situation where I could only grasp a small part. I began to recognize that, despite my good intentions, I couldn't possibly know for certain what was best. Only God could know that, and he was trustworthy.

I sighed, first grudgingly,  then gratefully as I once again relinquished the control I never really had and placed it back into the hands that held it all along.



*For a more detailed understanding of Action/Consequence versus Death/Resurrection, please read my previous blog, Which Lens.

God is For Me

“…If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31

If you’ve read more than one of my blogs, you have discovered that I’m a broken record.  My theme is the grace of God. Over and over I tell of the joy I have found in the knowledge of that grace.  But, in the nitty-gritty of everyday life, when the chips are down, does grace have any practical meaning?  When our relationships, jobs, lives are falling apart, what does the concept of biblical grace have to do with anything?

I’ve pondered that this week.  For years I’ve had an old, yellowed newspaper cartoon hanging on my refrigerator.  It depicts a poor, unsuspecting soul walking along the street, while above him, dangling from a window in a tall building, is a piano, ready to fall; and from heaven, God, seated at his heavenly computer, is looking down with his finger hovering over the “Smite” button.  I’ve left it up there because it is the perfect representation of how so many of us view God. 

This has been a difficult week for me, and in the process I have discovered anew that grace relates to everything. 

I am so grateful I no longer have to fear that God is smiting me with the circumstances in my life.  Scripture tells me I can expect troubles in this world, and I shouldn’t think that is strange, because I am still in this world and not the next.  I can take heart, however, because Jesus has overcome this world specifically because I couldn’t.

I am so grateful to know that nothing can separate me from God’s love.  Nothing. He is not mad at me. I do not have to earn his favor before he will hear my prayer. My life is hidden in Christ, and God is quite pleased with him. That approval extends to me.

I am so grateful that I can rest securely in the knowledge that God is in control. My circumstances are not chaos, they are being directed by the loving hands of the creator and sustainer of the universe; and, because of that, I don’t have to struggle to figure out what to do, fearing I will guess wrong.  I can simply acknowledge I am not able to figure things out, and trust that he will guide me.

I am so grateful I can be certain that God is on my side and he will never leave me or forsake me; even when I don’t handle my troubles perfectly, with a smile and a song.  Jesus flawlessly handled the most difficult of all circumstances and credits that to me, because he knows how frail I am.

I am so grateful that, when life is painful, I can have full assurance that I will never be alone.  On the cross, when Jesus cried, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” he suffered the unbearable separation from his father, so that I would never have to.

When the world comes crashing down around me, God’s grace alone promises me that God is for me.

If I Don't Have To Be Good, Why Would I Want To?

For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace” Romans 6:14 (Emphasis mine)

In my most recent blog, TooMuch Grace?,  I discussed the fact that what puts us in danger of leading ungodly lives is not hearing too much about grace, but hearing too much about law without grace.  Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones once said, “If your preaching of the gospel of God's free grace in Jesus Christ does not provoke the charge from some of antinomianism, you're not preaching the gospel of the free grace of God in Jesus Christ.”  “Antinomianism” comes from the Greek word meaning “lawless”, and biblically speaking, it refers to someone who advocates the position that because we are saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone, we are free to sin.  Some took it further and claimed that we actually honor God by demonstrating this freedom, because our sinfulness shows off God’s goodness. What Lloyd-Jones meant is, preaching of the true gospel of grace sounds enough like this perversion called Antinomianism that the two will sometimes be confused.

This charge was leveled against Paul because he was preaching the gospel of free grace in Jesus Christ, and it obviously got under his skin.  In Romans 3:7-8 Paul says, “Someone might argue, ‘If my falsehood enhances God’s truthfulness and so increases his glory, why am I still condemned as a sinner?’ Why not say—as we are being slanderously reported as saying and as some claim that we say—‘Let us do evil that good may result’?  Their condemnation is deserved.”

After his great treatise on grace presented in Romans 1-5, Paul begins chapter 6 with the question he knows his detractors will level at him, “What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?”  And his answer was, “By no means!”  Again, as he concludes a section in that same chapter with verse 14, “For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace” he feels the need to follow with verse 15, “What then?  Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace?” followed once more by his exclamation, “By no means!”

I have recounted earlier that when I wanted to know once and for all if the gospel of grace was true, I locked myself away with just the Book of Romans and the Holy Spirit and wrestled until I knew that it was the truth of scripture.  It was not an easy process. My experience was, I would read the first five chapters and my heart would thrill with the glorious news of the gospel.  Then, I would hit chapter 6 and my heart would freeze with fear.  

As I have said before, we will initially view everything, including scripture, through the lens of Action/Consequence*and, through that lens, this chapter appeared to me to be in complete contradiction to the very foundation Paul had so carefully laid down in chapters 1-5, which was that now, a righteousness from God, apart from law, had been made known, and this righteousness comes through faith in Jesus Christ, to all who believe.  To me, chapter 6 seemed to be saying that, as a believer, I should now be living without sin because of all that Jesus had done for me.  My legalistic upbringing had led me to fear this was the case, and this very issue was the reason I was so desperately searching to understand the truth.  Did my salvation depend on me and my actions, or did it depend solely on the grace of Jesus Christ?

I reasoned with myself, that Romans chapter 6 was written by the same author who wrote the first five chapters, and that Paul would not suddenly completely contradict himself; and concluded that, either I was confused about the first five chapters, or I misunderstood chapter 6.  I read that chapter over and over until I was in utter despair; then I would run back and reread chapters 1-5, to find comfort and peace again. 

I can’t say how long this process repeated itself, but I know it seemed like a very long time. Blessedly, even during that process, I felt the Spirit assuring me that I was close to finding the answer. I began to feel an increasing sense that what I was searching for was right in front of me, but I just couldn’t see it.

The verses I zeroed in on were Romans 6:1-12.  I’m going to quote the whole passage here in case you don’t have a Bible handy, “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.  Now, if we died with Christ we believe that we will also live with him.  For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him.  The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.  In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.” 

Once I had interpreted those verses from the viewpoint of Action/Consequence, the rest of chapter seemed to fall in line and led straight to hopelessness, as far as I was concerned.  Yet, I felt these were the verses that held the key.  I prayed and prayed for God to show me the truth, even if it was not what I hoped against hope it would be.

Finally, I was compelled to do something I had never done before. I actually felt silly, but I got a piece of paper and a pen and drew a picture of what those verses were saying; a sort of diagram.  I’m not an artist, so the picture was done with stick figures, much like a child would draw.  On the far left-hand side of the page I drew a stick figure of me and above me a crude drawing of the tablets of stone, representing the law. Underneath them I wrote “condemnation” with an arrow pointing to my head.  Then, on the far right-hand side of the paper, I drew a big circle and inside it I wrote “God”.  Then, in the middle, I drew the cross and on the cross I drew another circle.  Inside the circle I wrote “Jesus” at the top and “Me” underneath.  Then I drew an arrow from the stick figure of me on the left side of the page, going under the cross, and coming up on the side where God was.  I looked at the picture for a few minutes, and then I knew.

The picture showed the Death/Resurrection* meaning of the scripture:  In Christ, I had died on the cross in payment for my sins, I had been buried with him, and then I had been raised with him on the right-hand side of the page, with God.  The law, with its condemnation, was still on the left hand side, separated from me, now, by the cross.  Because I had died (in Christ), my sins had all been paid for by that death and the law could never have one word of condemnation to say to me again. There was nothing left with which to threaten me. I had already died; I could not die again! 

Because I was resurrected, I stood on God’s side of the page with my debt completely satisfied.  As far as God was concerned, I was now living a life without sin, because all of my sins were erased. I was freed from sin! Paul said I should “count” myself dead to sin, but alive to God.

I realized that, In this chapter Paul is simply answering the ridiculous charge of teaching people to offer themselves as slaves to sin in order to bring glory to God.  I could see that my resurrected self was now standing with God, knowing that no sin could ever be charged against me again, and how insane it would be for me to want to offer myself as an instrument of wickedness!

If I don't have to be good, why would I want to? Precisely because I don't have to! I understood then that the answer to my question of whether my salvation depended on me and my actions, or solely on the grace of Christ, was unequivically on the grace of Christ; and I also knew that I wanted to live my life in the service of that grace.  In the more than thirty years since that day, that desire has never waned! I will never live it perfectly, but that's all right; I am simply offering myself to God as one who has been brought from death to life.





*For a more detailed understanding of Action/Consequence versus Death/Resurrection, please read my previous blog, Which Lens.

Too Much Grace?

"I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!"  Galatians 2:21

 

In my recent blogs I have been talking about two opposing ways of viewing the world, and more specifically God and our relationship to Him.  For a more in depth understanding of these different points of view, I refer you to my blog entitled Which Lens.  But briefly, Action/Consequence is our natural, default way of thinking. It is about me--what I do and what I expect to achieve or receive as a result. When I live in the Action/Consequence world view, my life is about seeking gratification, recognition, glory, honor and praise through my own actions. As a result, my life will be about comparing and competing which leads to judging and often condemning others or myself. This way of thinking applies to everything in our lives, including religion, and leads to a distorted view of God.

Death/Resurrection, on the other hand, is a completely unnatural, counter intuitive way of thinking. It is a point of view which only comes to us through the ministry of the Holy Spirit and without his help we quickly revert back to Action/Consequence thinking. It is all about God and what he has done for us through his son, Jesus Christ. It recognizes that without Jesus we were dead (Ephesians 2:1), but because of him we are now alive (Ephesians 2:5) and that we are all alike in our unworthiness and need. Because of that, we have no basis for comparing or competing; judging or condemning. In this world view, all recognition, glory, honor and praise goes to God alone.

Using those two lenses, I want to take a look at the great fear many have concerning the teaching of grace:  If you preach it too much, people will be likely to consider grace as a license to sin, and will stop wanting to live godly lives.

The Book of Romans has some startling insight on that subject.  In Romans chapter 5 verse 20, Paul says, “The law was added so that the trespass might increase.” What was the reason the law was added, or given? So that “the trespass” might increase.  What is Paul saying? The Greek word translated here as “the trespass” is Paraptoma and literally means “to fall by the wayside”. It is equated with sin in the sense of defeat.  The reason the law was given, Paul says, was to increase the instances of defeat.

Paul elaborates further on that thought in chapter 7, beginning with verse 5, “…the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death.”  And again, in verses 8-10, “But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire, for apart from law, sin is dead.  Once I was alive apart from the law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died.  I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.”

In our natural Action/Consequence way of thinking, emphasis on teaching the law, or what God expects from us, should result in obedience, or godly living.  It is just logical.  The more we hear regarding what we should be doing, the more likely it will be that we will do it.

Yet, in the upside down and backwards world of Death/Resurrection, we find scripture telling us the opposite.  In a world without sin, the law would simply be a description of how we were already living.  But, in this world, where sin exists, the law clarifies how we are not living; and further, because of sin, when we are told what we should be doing, our “sinful passions” are actually aroused, and instead of becoming more obedient, we get worse!

So, if preaching law, obedience and right living, because of our sinful natures, actually produces defeat and fruit for death, where should the emphasis be?  Let’s take a second look at the context of the verses above:

Romans 5, verses 20 and 21 says, “The law was added so that the trespass might increase.  But when sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Romans 7, verse 4 says, “So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God.”

And, finally, at the conclusion of Paul’s discussion of how our sinful natures take something as “holy, righteous and good” as the law and twist it into something that produced death in us, he says, in verse 24, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

Our emphasis must always be on what God has done for us through Jesus Christ.  There is a wonderful use for preaching and teaching what the law requires; it is to remind us of how far we have all fallen from what God demands.  But the preaching of law must always be concluded with the good news that the demands of God have been completely satisfied for us by the life, death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Contrary to the Action/Consequence logic that thinks we will only be good if we are repeatedly told how we should be living, Death/Resurrection shows us that it is only through the comfort which comes through hearing the good news of grace over and over that we will begin to “bear fruit to God.”